A crisp white carpet of snow has enveloped the west coast of Ireland, and while the trees have obtained a new found warmth in this fluffy blanket, a sea of uncertainty has found it's way to me, leaving my visions and opinions on blogging a little distorted. On top of that, the new year has brought a lot of changes to my way of thinking; my outlook on life is now a little less negative, giving me the ability to see beyond the materialistic wealth and happiness of the world.
This somewhat 'reformation' of my inner self has brought many alterations to my approach to blogging, putting a dark cloud over this - almost 3 year - pastime. There is no way of denying that since my return to education back in September, my blog has been very inconsistent and, as consistency is one of the core factors of blog growth, it saw me reach a plateau of development of both readership and more importantly content. This further promoted a lack of motivation to tend to my little blog and i began comparing myself to other content creators, comparing my content and becoming somewhat bitter of their hard-earned success due to my feelings of inferiority and inadequacy translating from my personal life to my place in this ever growing world of online content. It is a feeling that has lingered for longer than anticipated, and one that seems to have overwhelmed me, until now.
As a teenager, my interests are also evolving, but the strong passion for beauty i acquired throughout the past 3 years is now much more containable and while i still have a wishlist the length of the equator, i have come to see there is much more out there to indulge in, without the need to splash the cash. For example, reading now holds a predominant place in my life, to a much greater extent than before so much so that i can't remember the last time i've watched television for more than just an episode of TVD on Netflix!
For so long beauty was the dominating topic on here, but in this present moment i'm suffering from the aforementioned lack of interest and also the lack of freedom of writing a structured beauty post makes me repel the whole process. Also, while i have always experimented with other avenues, i feel beauty is my niche and i know somewhere in here my beauty-lovin' makeup-obsessin' self is screaming for freedom, wanting to let out her love of makeup or the latest skincare trick she has discovered. Another thing worth mentiong, is that this is not down to the lack of post ideas or inspiration(i have a full schedule for both this month and next), and instead it all falls back to my lack of motivation to sit and write a beauty post. Another contributing factor; having been exposed to how materialistic beauty blogging can be. *Beauty bloggers themselves are not materialistic people, i just feel that beauty blogging itself often tends to be.
The conclusion is that I've been stuck in a blogging rut, feeling forced to post content i feel hasn't been 100% up to scratch because i felt obliged to stick to a schedule. However, at the end of the day blogging is a hobby i am (usually) incredibly passionate about, and not my full-time job. I feel you will appreciate that, and appreciate that as a full time student sometimes it's just not feasible to dedicate my full weekend- after 5 days of non-stop school work- to writing content and photographing products because i feel i need to and not because i want to.
Like most things in the world, sometimes a break works wonders, so i am now taking an announced blog break. I don't know for how long i intend to take this said break, until the spark reignites, i guess, because i miss blogging and the feeling of ecstasy it brought. But don't fret, i will return, and i will return with fresh content, new products and all things VT..
Long story short: i feel mediocre when i blog, but i feel mediocre when i don't blog. I'm stuck in a blogging rut and hoping to seek solace in a concise break, but i will be returning(and you can catch me on all my social media, as always); this is not the end. I hope you can all understand. Thank you. Thank you for the constant support these past 3 years, thank you for the comments that lighten up even the dullest of days and most importantly thank you for reading my rambles on all topics- it's appreciated more than you could ever imagine, ever.
"Sorry for the honesty, but i had to get this off my chest" - Ed Sheeran, X - The Man
Apologies for the ongoing negativity, but it's one of those things that i needed to say